oh, the lies we tell ourselves
by DearLemonLima
Summary: Sometimes violence and hate are easier than expressing love or compassion. The sisters know that for certain. Oneshot. Bellatrix/Andromeda.


"I don't wanna be the one to hurt you..." Bella croons, gesturing at her younger sister.

"I don't wanna be the one to cause you pain..." Andromeda spins around as the record spins. They gravitate towards each other in the abandoned manor, dancing on glass. The motions are raw, sexual, as if they've melted into something they were not before.

It is a wedding song, with a low gravelly singer and the grooves are scratchy. But they dance together, laughing like they never do anymore. Bella is nineteen and Andromeda sixteen. They have blossomed from youths into intoxicating young women, Andromeda curvaceous and natural, Bella skinny and made-up with a carefully crafted bouffant.

Their bodies press together as they dance, held somewhere between Heaven and Hell. Andromeda slips away first as the song comes to an end and the record player falls silent. Bellatrix watches her with hooded eyes, her lips curled slightly. Andromeda glances around the parlor - cold, empty, desolate. They never grew up in a home of warmth and love, and the decor matches the history.

Bellatrix unbuttons her blouse, dropping it to the floor. It brushes against her ankles, the sleeve caressing her bare foot. She has a secret tattoo of a snake on her ankle that Druella and Cygnus have yet to notice. Andromeda smirks knowingly and they are in complete silence.

"If we get caught we are so screwed," Bella sighs as Andromeda whips herself out of her flowing floral patterned.

"Then screw me quickly," Andromeda says sharply, grabbing her sister's wrist. Bellatrix's expression sours momentarily, but she presses her lips against her sister's.

"I think they'd rather see us with mudbloods," Bella breathes through Andromeda's thousand kisses. They burn, forbidden, tantalizing. She does not know why she is finding herself so weak. It is painful as Andromeda pulls her towards the off-white sofa.

They fall back, Andromeda's head hitting the arm of the sofa. It is a constant battle for control; that is the intriguing thing about their sex. It is oddly competitive, like all of their joint activities. Andromeda has taken several bludgers to the face in recreational Quidditch, and Bella quit playing piano when Andromeda started to woo the world with guitar.

"Do we do this for the danger or because we actually want each other?" Bella murmurs as Andromeda tugs at her lace underwear. Andromeda sighs, rolling her eyes. "Oh, don't get frustrated, you bitch."

"Does the Dark Lord let you talk this much during sex?" Andromeda unsnaps her sister's bra with ease. Bella clenches her jaw and digs her fingernails into her sister's spine. Andromeda snorts in laughter and forces herself on top of Bellatrix.

Andromeda kisses her sister's navel and freezes. She slips her head up slightly and Bella groans.

"What's that?" Andromeda murmurs, pointing at a bruise she did not notice. Bellatrix slips her hand over it casually, but her pale face is ruby red. "What is that?"

"Just shut up and lick me out," Bellatrix snaps and Andromeda bites on the inside of her cheek.

"What happened?" Andromeda presses, prying where she should not be again. Bellatrix does not need another mother getting pissed over her relationship choices.

"It doesn't matter. We're together," Bellatrix says and Andromeda does not say anything.

Oh, how she wishes she had.

* * *

Andromeda wakes up from fitful sleep. She misses booze for the first time in a few years. Ted is sleeping soundly, something Andromeda has been incapable of for decades. She knows exactly how her family would be slaughtered if the Death Eaters made their way in. She thinks about Nymphadora day and night. And whenever she does sleep, she has erotic nightmares about the illicit affair she had with her sister eons ago.

They were young. It was foolish. It meant nothing. Ted is _real_.

Oh, the lies we tell ourselves.

* * *

Bellatrix slips into Andromeda's bed. She is hiding tears.

"Kiss me. Please," she whispers in her sister's ear. She wants her to touch her. Anyone... anyone to touch her.

"You're bleeding," Andromeda murmurs, touching her sister's face.

"Kiss me," Bellatrix repeats, her voice faltering this time.

Andromeda complies, though in her heart of hearts she worries about her sister. She can taste salty tears as she kisses Bella's bruised cheek. Bellatrix breathes in sharply at the pressure, but Andromeda continues. She feels a kind of sweet agony that can only be placated by pleasure.

They make love as Andromeda wishes she were asking questions. They spent the night in each other's arms, wordlessly. He hurt her. And Andromeda is absolutely fucking powerless.

* * *

Bellatrix wakes up, ice cold. She should not have showered before going to sleep with a snake and her freezing cold master. She feels the bruise on her hip, the scars on her back. She met the halfblood atrocity. She failed.

_Was I not good enough_?

_Let me tell you something about your mother._

_ She was a fucking worthless hippie anyway._

"We were young," Bellatrix whispers to herself, and the Dark Lord stirs. She did not realize she said it so loudly. Nagini's scrutinizing eyes open, and Bellatrix walks to the bathroom. She turns on the sink as quietly as she can and splashes her face.

Every time she sleeps.

Every fucking time.

* * *

"I love you," Bellatrix says.

"I know," Andromeda replies and Bellatrix hits her with a pillow. "Alright, alright, I love you too."

It is 1972. Andromeda has fucked a mudblood and plans to marry him. Bella is married and with the Dark Lord. But this Christmas, they are alone by the tree at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, having sex. It's incredibly foolish how madly in love with each other they are.

"If we get caught we are ─ "

"Screwed. I know." Andromeda kisses her sister's breast.

* * *

"How does it make you feel to see the little halfblood?" the Dark Lord taunts as Bellatrix dresses herself. "Do you wish she was yours?"

Bellatrix clenches her jaw and averts her eyes. There are things she could say, but none of them will be said. She loves him more than she has loved anything before - far more than Andromeda. But he never lets her forget her sister's mistake.

"I'll kill her."

"I wouldn't force you to," the Dark Lord says and Bellatrix is puzzled for a moment. He used to hang that over her head. He would say he would make her kill Andromeda if she crossed him. It would be worse than the usual punishments she receives, and that is saying a good deal. Even with all of the resentment that Bella harbors for her family's name being besmirched and for her lust being betrayed, killing Andromeda would be painful.

"Why not, my lord?" Bellatrix asks, drawing her bony knees to her chest.

"Because I know you couldn't."

As always, the Dark Lord is right.

* * *

It's a cool summer night, the flowers bending in a gentle breeze. Andromeda stares at the stars, the constellations coming to light in her eyes. She sees now that summer is almost over: Cassiopeia, Andromeda and Cepheus are now in the sky, signifying the return of autumn.

Bellatrix is also staring, but the sky is meaningless to her. Her thoughts are elsewhere, further away than even the heavens above. She has too much to think about now. The sweet aroma of lilacs in bloom makes her wrinkle her nose, and the taste of ash from the night before still lingers in her mouth.

"Bellatrix," Andromeda says softly, rolling over to face her sister. Bellatrix doesn't move. "Purebloods are really bad at loving, aren't they?"

Bellatrix pauses, thinking for a moment. It's true.

"_Humans_ are really bad at loving," Bellatrix replies softly. "We're about as good at it as we are at breathing underwater. Why, have you suddenly fallen in love?"

The comment wounds both sisters. Bellatrix is firmly under the thumb of the man she has loved and loved, whom returns nothing but a loveless and sexual fascination. Andromeda refuses to love anyone or anything at all, and is currently sleeping with four different older men.

"I love you, Bella," Andromeda breathes, feeling rather foolish. Sleeping with her sister feels more right than loving her. She has spent her whole life hating her family, and vowing never to love even them.

Bellatrix hesitates. Andromeda doesn't expect an answer.

"I love you too," she says, the words alien on her tongue.

"Would you rather love me than kill mudbloods?" Andromeda says and Bellatrix smirks.

"I'd have to think about that for a moment." _Yes_.

The elder sister finally turns to face the younger, pressing her lips against Andromeda's. Andromeda sinks into it, slipping her tongue into Bellatrix's mouth. And that night, what they share together is more than odd obsession and a quick fix for unresolved sexual desires.

It's beautiful.

It's _love_.


End file.
